Good Joey Hunting

A couple months ago, Joey had his first encounter of wanting to "go see about a girl". He and several other boys were riding bikes on our cul-de-sac while the Moms talked and watched. The boys were pretending to shoot each other while riding or some boyish thing like that. Suddenly, Joey stopped riding and got his pogo stick. Since he was the only one to stop in the group and play solo, and now the boys were off bikes and running around the yards playing their equivalent of 'cops and robbers', I encouraged him to re-join the gang. He wouldn't. He continued on, but now was abandoning the pogo stick for another toy he brought out of our garage. Then another. Then he was back on the pogo stick again, having brought it to the end of the driveway, closer to where we all were sitting.

After a short time, Joey said, "Mommy, I know how we can get 'M' to come back." It all hit me. His face was anxious. I then realized that 'M', a fairly new neighbor the next street over, had been on our cul de sac with her mom, talking to the Dad of one of the boys. I was in conversation when M's mom yelled over to another as they were walking away that M decided not to stay with all the boys. I realized just after she appeared on our street, is when Joey went solo. He was making himself available. I hadn't put the two together. But now, my little boy wanted her to come back. His plan was to have his imaginary "kids", being Wizzy and Wig from The Zula Patrol (Who his "kids" are varies, but that's another post!), lure her back to have fun together. But ... it was 8pm! Most kids this age, Joey included, weren't always out this late, as it was still late Spring and they were getting used to later hours now that school was out. I decided to take a chance on the late time; at least she would know of his interest.

As I walked my 5 year old little boy down the street toward M's house, one of the boys noticed and ran after us. "Hey Joey, where are you going?!" Joey said, "I'm going to go see about M playing," and kept walking ... determined.

He was hesitant once we arrived at her house; she was outside with her Dad and sister. My outspoken child, who 'can talk to anyone', was now quiet and pushing me to go up ahead of him. We asked together. She smiled.

M and Joey played at our house that evening until after 8:30. :)

Maybe We Should Start Putting Our Beer In Coffee Mugs

Last week, our local newspaper interviewed some kindergartners in light of upcoming high school graduations, to remind this year's graduating class what life was like when they were starting school. Without letting Joey read any of the answers the kids gave, I asked Joey the questions myself, since he'll be starting kindergarten as a 6 year old this Fall. Here are his answers.

What do you think you will be like when you graduate from high school?
"I will like space and science."

How will you celebrate graduating from high school?
"I'd have a party at Supergames." (A place with moon-bounces and rock-climbing wall.)

What will you know by the time you graduate that you don't know now?
"I'll know how to open a beer cap and how to cook."

What do you think you'll be allowed to do by the time you graduate from high school that you aren't allowed to do now?
"Get snacks whenever I want, without asking - and drink beer."

What gifts do you hope you'll get when you graduate?
"Money to buy plants." (At least he didn't say beer!)

Rock and Roll

My husband, like many, reads in the bathroom. Last week he was running to the restroom, searching for reading material on the way. The front page of the Sunday paper was nearby, and the main story was about Lead Poisoning - something he wouldn't normally care to read, but I would want him to do so since he longs to move back to his childhood neighborhood, where the houses are very old. I said quickly, "Here, you want to read about lead?", and was a tad curious at his eagerness to do so as he grabbed the paper and ran with it into the bathroom and closed the door.

About thirty seconds later, he yelled out,
"Aw man! I thought you meant
Led Zeppelin!!"

Reality Checks

Yesterday, I was reading Bossy's post for the day (Momo got me hooked on her!) when five year old Joey walked up. He looked at the picture on the screen and said, "Uh, Mommy, you know they aren't real, right??"
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I can tell because (click on Bossy's name above for full effect) he doesn't have a head."

Sweet Somethings

In March 2006, when Joey was 3, I decided that at bedtime I would tell Joey what he did that day that I appreciated. Each night I'd tell him, and he always told me what he appreciated that I did also. Here's a sampling from 2 years ago (because that is when I was writing them down):
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Mommy: "Joey, I appreciated that you went in to go potty right away when we came up to get ready for bed."
Joey: "I'm happy 'for that' you played with me today."
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Joey: "You read me stories."

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Joey: "You washed my blanket."

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Joey: "You took my plate into the kitchen for me.
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Mommy: "When I said it was time to leave the park, you came right away."

Joey: "You buckled my seat belt."
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Mommy: "I liked that you noticed I had cleaned up your room and that you made a point to tell me and to thank me."

Joey: "I liked that you made me pick up the purple grass." (He had strewn Easter grass all over the house)

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Mommy: "I liked the way you crawled on the carpet on your hands and knees with your muddy feet up in the air (without me even knowing they were muddy) when you came in the house, so to not get mud on the floor." (How did he know to do that??)

Joey: "I liked that you put a sign with my name on my bed."

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Mommy: "I liked the way you got right back up and tried again when you fell on your roller skates today."

Joey: "I liked the way you gave me hugs today."
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Unfortunately, sometimes life gets in the way of what really matters. We have dropped this routine and picked it back up again several times in the last 25 months - having just picked it up again recently. It feels so good to know about little things you did or said that didn't go unnoticed - and on the flip side, it feels even better to express appreciation for someone. Especially when they are things that might normally be left unsaid. Sometimes I have to rack my brain to think of something to tell him I appreciated, and other days I say 2 or 3 different things. On those days when I have to really think hard of something to come up with - either due to a bad day or a rushed, non-connecting day - I feel so good to have made myself realize something I appreciated in him ... to bring myself back to what really matters.

It's our sunshine at night.

My Heart Overflowing

Last Thursday was my birthday. My mother-in-law sent me a birthday email, featuring part of an old email I had sent my husband months ago; he must have forwarded it to her:
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On November 14, 2007 you wrote:

…is such a boy – full of wonder and imagination. He is running around the back yard, pretending something that requires him to pick up mulch, dig like a dog, put his foot in the pool of sand/water, fling sand in the grass (I put a stop to that), and sing the Snow/Heat Miser songs. And in the middle of it all, he yelled to me, “Mommy!!” “Yes, Buggy?” “I LOVE YOU!!” That was after we each did the ‘splendid’ sign.

My heart is full.

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And that's what this motherhood thing is all about.

My Five Year Old Teenager

My first post about my little buggy is, unfortunately, mentioning some negative behavior. Joey was very, very, very upset about something yesterday that caused him to behave in a less than desirable manner (and to get lots of consequences as a result). He was crying and rocking (If you don't know, rocking is his way of self-soothing. He sits in a big chair in the living room and 'bounces' his upper half on the back of the chair over and over.) while I was in the kitchen, after his big blow-out. After a couple minutes I hear "The Pretender" by The Foo Fighters come on. My little boy was rocking out - singing quite loud in a wobbly, I've-been-crying voice, "So who are YOU? Yeah, who are YOU??" along with the song. My mind fast-forwarded to him as a teenager for a second. But only for a second ... I want to cherish every single moment of these younger years. And, when he can always make me smile even when I'm upset with him.